Come quickly, my love, my pet. Please do not reproach me, dearest one, for doubting your navigatory aptitude, but in the event naughty you haven’t been getting all of your minimum daily requirements of iron ore, I have taken the liberty of scattering a two-inch thickness of shredded refrigerator magnets in and around my domicile for you to home in on.

So fly, fly, my darling, and we will have all night games on our schedule as we await the next earthquake you have been premonitioning for the past several years now. How long, oh my darling, do you think we will have until that husband of yours (weaponless, I believe you said, is that correct?), notices that you have flown the coop?