John,

I was surprised you didn't ask me why the mustache was important yesterday, so I thought for the benefit of the readers here I should explain;

Petra's Scientific Mustache Theory

I noticed early on that scientists who wore a mustache seemed to write in a much more cohesive fashion than some of their counterparts and I had to explain how that was possible that this bit of hair under the nose could cause a scientists to issue more understandable scientific writing.

So I observed. I made notes. I watched to see what subtleties they displayed and it was a true revelation. The thinker has to bend his wrist so he can lean on it when thinking and of course that must cut off the circulation some part of the time and most likely would injure the wrist and make it difficult to type after many years. But the man who wears a mustache has no future disability and can keep thinking all of their lives. They can pull on this bit of hair when they are perplexed and need to take a moment for more clarity and of course the most important revelation was that they must live longer than other scientists. They have this focus; but they also have immunity to disease. That mustache catches everything so no serious germs can enter their being. I think too they must spend some time thinking about women because as they trim that mustache they think about appearance and it is only really important to women and not other men as they don't care if another man has a mustache.

So there it is: A. They have a point of focus, B. They can spend more hours a day thinking, C. They take more care to be beautiful, D. They live longer which gives them more experience E. More experience equals better writing skills and better communications equal greater intelligence, and F. Intelligence is like a beacon to women, so they experience a much more full and rounded life.

Of course I had to decide if all men had a mustache if they would all be more intelligent and enjoy all of the attributes of a man who already decided to wear one and I knew that could not be true because it only occurs to one who already has one. Now I have to reverse the process and study men who have no mustache and see if this holds true. I think I'll need five good years on this, so don't wait for the answer to arrive anytime soon. Oh and in this case the X-Factor is the beard. One can have a beard and no mustache, so I will have to reach a conclusion on that separately. Oh my!

Petra