Cathryn and Mary/Maya,

These strangers have been on my heart since I read that diabetes took this so young woman at 22...after it took my dear Chip just days before. I have retold the story of both many times now and something so deep inside of me gets touched each time. Closest I can come to describing it is I am awed. I have always believed that only God has control over life and all of life and He alone decides when it it time for the soul/spirit to leave the flesh. Who are we to argue? Yet, we do. We just can't understand His taking back souls/spirits so young. Why did they come, if they were not meant to stay until old age?

Many tell us, using the phrase to pass off the serious, that there is a reason for everything and believe it. Given God, that is true and the reason is His. Only He knows the path of each. Chip's illness and my love for him (and some sound advice from another EWer) made me face a very early childhood fear and overcome it by eventually giving him shots without the horror of the needles. In the doing, he and I developed a deep trust of each other and Chip and I really became good pals. He used certain volcal patterns which had me almost convinced that he could speak English if it was permitted. He would cry and it would sound like; "I want to come out." He had a "mama" and a go ahead with the shot sound. He was the only cat I ever had who would go totally relaxed in my arms. Cats never seem to forget they are cats afterall.

But my feelings for Chip can in no way match what that mother is feeling for her daughter. It's almost more than a heart can take from what I have observed over life and it either turns the person toward or away from God. It brings face to face the demon of doubt. Or the one of anger and ego. I can't help but think that if we think of the feeling we are feeling in that light, we might be better able to battle with it and win. We, as a people, don't know how to listen well because we are more often thinking about what we are going to say or such. But when we decide to, we can learn this skill very quickly. I learned early on to start every military and defense contractor training course with a lesson on good listening skills and the ten most common "hearing" blockers. But first, we must want to listen and that means we must care and that runs at high risk today.

Diane