Chris (and Petra),

Perhaps you missed where I stated in a subsequent post to this board that the person in question, whom I had asked my *hypothetical* question about, was on an adoption board, not on Earth Waves.

When I posed my question, I asked for as many people to respond to it as could, and many did. Nowhere did I ever impugn Petra's character or suggest that her mental health was in question. That she (and some others) jumped to that conclusion is not my fault. I was not talking about her. I did not even say if the person in question was male or female. I was deliberately vague.

Petra, I will apologize to you to the extent that I am truly sorry if you thought I was talking about you and your feelings were hurt by that. In my original post, I made it clear that I did not want to hurt this individual, rather help, but only if I felt assured this person might benefit from an outsider's private email or phone call. You even invited me to call you and discuss the matter with you, but that would have been bizarre considering you were not the person I had in mind.

I posted my question here (outside the very incestuous adoption community) expressly so that no one WOULD jump to any conclusion about whom I was talking about. (This woman is so well known on adoption boards she even has nicknames people have, over the years, come up with to refer to her.) I'm sorry you felt I was somehow referring to you. Again, I was not.

In my thank you post to the board, I also stated the ailment I had in mind was bipolar disorder, or what used to be called manic depression. I deliberately included this bit of information to further dissuade any members of this board (but mostly Petra, who by this time had made some very insulting and defensive public comments to me) from thinking that I was talking about her. Petra, you hardly seem to suffer from depression; if anything, you are come across as unusually chipper and upbeat, even under trying circumstances, such as when you were diagnosed with cancer.

So let me make this clear for one last time: I am not now nor have I ever questioned Petra's mental health on this board, and I am sorry that Petra erroneously concluded that I had. I will not admit to something I didn't do, so I can't apologize for calling her mental health into question here, as I did not do that. Furthermore, I said nothing that could even remotely be considered as legally actionable. (My step father is a retired judge, so I do know a thing or two about things legal.) Nevertheless, someone's feelings did get hurt, and for that I am more sorry than many of you will ever realize.

I hope this puts this issue to bed once and for all.

Cathryn