Hi Cathryn. I hope this isn't too off topic for Canie and the rest of the members, but I'll throw my two-cents worth in: (and its worth just that much)

The answer would depend on how deeply the person's behaviour is affecting you. For instance, the abusive behaviour of a family member due to disease or disorder would be justification enough to speak out. A close friend with the same behavior would be slightly different in that you would be free to discontinue the relationship, but still perhaps worth discussion knowing the risks involved.

But if you are watching this behaviour from a "distance" and your motivation is a general (but heart-felt) concern, you run the risk of ending the relationship with a very small likelihood that the person would ever benefit from the discussion. If that is the case, then I would agree with Roger, Shannon and Glen.

The other question I would ask is whether or not you believe the person's "illness" could cause them to harm themselves or others. (ie; Alzheimer's, BPD or MPD) At that point, I don't think you have a choice other than to confront them or get other people involved to try and get them the help they need. (If that is the case, don't confront them alone.)

I guess what I am trying to say is that one would need to know more of the particulars before they could properly advise you.

There is an old joke:

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But it has to WANT to change.

Russell