Euro-English

Following on from the successful launch of the Euro in the majority of EU states the European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will become the official language of the
EU, in preference to the other option of German.

As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's
Government conceded that Englishspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phased plan which will introduce what will be know as "Euro-English".

In the first year "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will also be dropped in
favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters,
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgrasful and they should go away.

By the fourth yar peopl wil be reseptiv to further steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During the fifz year ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to undrstand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI HAV KUM TRU AND ZEN WE VIL TAK OVA ZE VORLD!!